Wedding Woes Pt. 1
26 Days Out …
I'm getting married in a little under four weeks and I just feel the need to share what I been going through in the last couple of months for your entertainment and to help you in your decision making if ever you choose to get married.
Before I go off, I want to say that I love my fiancée and, throughout this entire process, there hasn't been a moment where I didn't want to be married to her. She's been great (#notabridezillaatall) and the decision making has been very easy. We've been on the same page since day one. Just like me, she likes the idea of marriage, but she also thinks the concept of a wedding is fucking insane.
Here are some of the things that bother me the most about weddings.
Weddings are a damn business; a billion-dollar industry at that. They're expensive for no damn reason.
I mean when you visit a vendor, venue or a regular business for some type of service for the big day, the second you mention the word "wedding", they throw out their regular prices out the window and bring out a price chart ranging anywhere between 25%-50% more expensive than their usual stuff.
You can shop around all you want, but the prices are relatively the same. They know they got you bent over a barrel, so they'll make the most of it and get all the money they possibly can.
If you're getting married, you're going to get hustled. There's no way around it. Deal with it.
I swear I never felt like a cheapskate, penny-pincher until I started planning a wedding.
THE FLIP SIDE
Things don't have to be that expensive. A lot of people get married without spending more money than a brand new car or a downpayment on a house is worth. I've heard some people getting married for about $5000 and they've had beautiful weddings.
You can even elope and make it real romantic by getting married just the two of you. But, like us, you may end up caving in under social pressure and end up doing the whole grandiose wedding thing to keep up with appearances and make other people happy.
PEOPLE AND WEDDING POLITICS
People, man. They can mess with your shit big time.
Who to invite, when to send the invite to, where to seat them and a bunch of other considerations that shouldn't really matter end up being such a big deal.
Oh, and everybody has a damn opinion.
Every time I see someone I haven't seen for a while who knows I'm getting married, they'll ask me how the wedding's coming along and, when I tell them something generic so we can both move on with our lives, and then they'll launch into "wedding advice" mode and tell me things based on what they've seen on TLC's Four Weddings.
Nobody has time for wedding small talk bullshit from people that were never married in the first place.
The other thing I can't stand is people getting offended that they weren't invited to the wedding – especially when they fucking know they're not even going to come. These people make a fuss about how they've known me or my girl for so long and it's "weird" that they were overlooked. So, then we feel guilty and send them an invite because we either feel forced, guilty or because we simply forgot (which fucking happens because there are too many details to pulling off a wedding). We send them the invite, they get it and then decline because they had a prior engagement … Like, for real, bruh?! Why did they make a fuss in the first place, you know? Who the hell knows? One thing that's certain is that people want to feel included whether or not they're going to be there … and that is annoying as hell.
One of the biggest problems with weddings is that it's not about you or your spouse … it's about how other people feel about you, your spouse and your relationship for one drawn out day. People want to feel included, wanted and acknowledged on your wedding day. A wedding is a party for other people in your honour that you have to try really hard to enjoy as you ignore all the little things that will go wrong … As ridiculous as that definition sounds.
Thank God for open bars.
THE FLIP SIDE
You don't have to listen to anyone when it comes to your wedding. You can do whatever the hell you want especially when you fund it yourself. People will always have an opinion and, more often than not, they'll be wrong. They don't care. They just want to be heard and feel included in your wedding. You can't and won't please everybody. And, trust me, that's completely okay.
So, follow Robert Downey Jr.'s advice:
Anyway, that's it for Wedding Woes part 1. Check back next week for part 2 and listen to our podcast to actually hear me sound off on my wedding woes. I'll be talking about this every week until I get married.
Pray for your boy.
witten by Georje Wilden