Wedding Woes – The Final Chapter
Hold up, wait a minute. Y'all thought I was finished?
There are no more wedding woes to look forward to, however, the week leading up to it was pretty brutal, so I thought I'd share what happened and also general thoughts on the "Big Day".
DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING
The week of the wedding, I took some time off to get my mind right and finalize all the details with my girl. I thought I'd have time to write a few posts for the website, train, unwind and do all the things necessary before the big day.
Wrong! I had just enough time to do wedding tasks and had zero down time. That week, my girl and I were so busy that we would skip a few meals during the day and, when we did eat, it was fast food because we had little time to cook. Even when certain tasks were carefully planned, things got out of hand somehow and took more time than expected.
The problem with planning is that unexpected things will more than likely occur to fuck your shit up or the things you do plan will take up more of your time than you initially intended them to. Things like shopping with my mom, shopping with my mother-in-law or finding some random last-minute tool to accentuate a centrepiece will eat up all your time. Things like going to the printers and having to deal with deadlines that weren't met made me shuffle my task list around in an attempt to re-prioritize.
Needless to say, I was annoyed. I mean we both were. My girl and me were counting down the days until we could go back to normal.
The ceremony was supposed to start at 5 p.m. and key people (like my mom) ended up being late, so we started about a half hour late.
The ceremony was conducted by my wife's cousin who had a few words to say about us and then encouraged us to exchange our own vows.
The exchange of vows was the most emotional part of the entire day given the week we just had. We were running around all week, snapping at each other for meaningless reasons and we weren't taking the time to show each other love and compassion. Therefore, when we had to express how we truly felt about each other and our future together, the things we said hit us harder than expected and we both teared up. Despite how much I told The W that I wouldn't shed a tear, it happened.
I can feel emotions after all…
After the ceremony we took pictures for an hour. I hate taking pictures, man. I don't like having to fabricate moments and faking happiness for appearances, but since I was actually happy on my wedding day, taking pictures wasn't all that bad. I was hungry as hell, but I managed to keep smiling.
So, I guess you're all wondering how it went, how I feel and if I have any regrets. It was a great night and I had an awesome time. I was so relieved that the planning was finally over and done with, I got frat boy wasted and danced with my people all night.
We even did the running man challenge and all that good jazz. At one point, my boys decided to lift me up in the air, but they quickly put me down once they realized how heavy I am. All in all, it was good night and a great party. We had Dj Lykx killing it on the turntables all night and The W and I were tearing shit up on the dance floor.
It was a memorable night and I'm happy to be married.
Would I do it again, though? HELL NO! You couldn't pay me to do all that planning again.
My wife and I have been trying to remind ourselves that things shouldn't change, but they have. Things somehow feel more official. We feel a stronger obligation to be good to each other now that we're married, and that's a great thing because it reminds us of the daily choice we make to stay together no matter what.
We're happy and we looking forward to building a family together.
People are always trying to line up your life goals for you. An hour after we got married, people were already asking us about kids. Don't let people influence the way you live your life. Do things on your own time.
Some people didn't show up to the wedding and only let me know the morning of. I didn't let that stress me out, though. As long as they were okay, I didn't really care.
The real messed up thing was that certain people posted photos and videos of the wedding on Facebook, and a few people who were not invited contacted me to make me feel guilty about it. To them, I say this:
At first, I wanted to elope, but I then chose to have a modest wedding with 120-130 guests. Our close family and friends were invited. The people that were there are people that I speak to on a regular basis. If I hadn't seen or spoken to you regularly in the last five years, you weren't on my mind and I didn't invite you.
Let's be real, weddings cost money. The more people you invite, the more they cost. I wasn't looking to get in debt just so I can make a family member that I haven't hung out with in 10 years feel good about themselves for a few hours. Not being invited to a wedding is not a declaration of war or some subliminal shot at you. In my case, it was all dollars, cents and logic.
Don't be so damn sensitive. It's not about you. Furthermore, if you couldn't find it in your heart to be happy once you heard the news, it's probably a good thing that you weren't there in the first place because it would have been for the wrong reason.
All right. That's it for wedding woes. If you're getting married and you can relate to a fraction of what I'm saying, this series goes on to prove that you're not alone. I'm not against marriage at all and I think it's a great thing, but weddings often get in the way of a marriage by stealing the spotlight. We spend so much time, energy and money on planning weddings, yet we have a hard time doing the same for marriages. That doesn't make sense to me.
Anyway. That's it.
written by Georje Wilden