Relationships are a Full-Time Job
Let's not kid ourselves. A relationship is a full-time job. The perks are incomparable to any other job (unless you're a sex worker), but you have to work hard or at least put in a decent amount of effort to get those perks.
People who haven't been in a relationship for very long, or have the dumb luck of being with a low maintenance partner, may feel like saying "If it feels like work, then you're with the wrong person." To which I calmly reply, "Go fuck yourself."
Don't believe anyone who says that relationships are easy because they're lying to keep up with appearances. Relationships are hard work. Sometimes they’re so good that they don’t even feel like it, but at other times, it feels like you don’t get enough back for what you put in and you need a bonus or something like it for all that hard work.
You don’t think that it’s work?
Picture this: Your family, the people you lived your entire life with (who love you unconditionally), caused you to have homicidal thoughts at times. So a stranger that you really like (or eventually love) will definitely test your patience at some point. Trust me.
Let's be real. Your partner will annoy you on a regular basis, which will require you to dig deep, pretend like everything’s fine and try not to lose your shit. Just like a regular job.
Here’s how relationships are just like work.
YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO DO
You have to support your partner’s passions and hobbies even when they're things you don’t understand or even like. You go through this shit to keep your "job" and make sure you get a good performance review.
Since you understand that you can’t always do what you want, you know that doing these type of things can feel like work. For instance, attending a family gathering full of strangers who don’t know you, like you or are even aware of your existence, you still go … knowing it will suck balls.
You think girlfriends like to wait in the GameStop midnight line just so they get to watch their boyfriend be the first to get the latest GTA game? Hell, no! Even if if they like video games, that shit it a one player game, so it’s not like they can play together or anything. That shit is work. Dull, tedious work.
In that same frame, some guys hate holding purses while their girl is dress shopping. They pretend to be having fun and that they actually have an opinion on the 20 dresses their girl chooses. Truth is that they really don’t care, but they’re on clock, so they have to make the best of it.
Another situation is talking on the phone (or in person) because society makes you feel like you should talk all the time even when you have nothing to say. You force communication in an attempt to make it a habit and create a situation where the two of you can speak to each other and share thoughts easily. However, that’s a problem when your favourite show is on or you have something more interesting to do than finding out just how boring your partner’s day was.
DEALING WITH BULLSHIT
At work, you have to deal with a lot of bullshit from your coworkers, your boss and everybody on the commute to and from work. You don’t like to deal with that, but you do it to keep your job. All you want is to do your work and be left alone, but nope. People have to fuck with you.
Relationships are like that too. You could be doing fine, but your partner is in a mood and you know you can’t just walk away from it, so you have to sit there and figure out what the matter is in order to fix it. Again, dull, tedious work that cannot be ignored.
In a relationship, there are no days off because you’re always on call. If you’re not available when needed, your performance review will reflect that. Basically, if you don’t put in enough time, you won’t get any action. (The performance review is sex and intimate moments in case the euphemism eluded you).
Your partner expects you to be there whenever they need you because you’re the person they rely on. It’s a lot of pressure, and not everybody’s built for it.
PLAYING A PART
At work, you have to pretend you’re happy and you like your job. You do the same thing when you’re around your friends and family even when shit is about to hit the fan.
HOW RELATIONSHIPS DIFFER FROM A REGULAR JOB
- You get to have sex. Some people are willing to go through hell and back and hell again for that alone.
- The good usually outweighs all of the bad you can possibly imagine.
- When you love the person you’re with, you deal with all that shit because they’re worth it and you want to be by their side through anything – good or bad.
- You usually give the same amount of bullshit you receive.
- Kids can be a lot of fun.
- Love just keeps you going.
- Being in their company makes anything all right.
Relationships are hard work, but it’s work you will want to do if you’re in love. Things can get crazy frustrating at times and you will probably want to quit, but love keeps you there.
I’ve been in a relationship for years and I could be like the people who claim that relationships are all butterflies and sprinkles because I love my fiancee and things are great between us. However, I’m not blind to the fact that I’ve had to work on myself and make countless efforts to remain in this relationship.
Things didn’t magically fall into place. But all the efforts I made and all the efforts she's made have been because we love each other and we believe in staying together. On most days, it feels effortless and things just go smoothly.
My point is, relationship will require you to give a damn and get off your ass consistently. If you keep acting like you shouldn’t have to put in the time and effort, you’ll end up by yourself. So, keep fighting the good fight.
written by Georje Wilden