Dating PSA: The Best Way to Meet People
Online dating, bars, clubs, Facebook, and Instagram are all ways where people are trying to meet friends, lovers and potential spouses. That's all well and good, but I believe the best way to meet someone new is at a get-together hosted by a friend or an acquaintance.
By get-together I mean a gathering of friends where anywhere from 5 to 30 people are invited to a friend's house (or a rented space) for some random reason such as a housewarming party, birthday party or plain ol' dinner.
In this particular situation, a friend can introduce you to someone you find interesting or attractive in order for you to get to know them a little better without causing stranger-danger panic.
Get-togethers are probably the best way to meet new people because they provide a safe environment where people let their guard down and let loose since they're in a safe environment with somewhat trustworthy people.
There are pros and cons to get-togethers though. Let's get to it.
You Have Access to Relevant Background Information
If your friends want to help you pursue this new person, they will give you all the details you need to know about them. They give you the 411 on their relationship status, their best qualities, they'll tell you if they're crazy, violent, promiscuous or a piece of shit. They'll give you the information you need in order to know if that person is worth pursuing or not. It's great to have background information because you get to know things you probably wouldn't find out before the fifth date. Plus, your nosy friends love to play matchmaker anyway.
You Get to See Them in Their Element
Dates are stressful. You want to display your best self and are afraid you'll say or do something to turn your date off.
Pressure's off during a get-together.
You do your thing while they do their thing and you get a nice impression of how they interact with their friends and people in general.
The Setting Helps Your Game
Everyone has off days, so if you end up saying something weird in a conversation or there's an awkward pause, other people can help keep the conversation going. Also, if things are not going too well, you can take a 15-minute break, go for a smoke, get a drink and come back fresh. You can't do that on a date.
If you're introduced to someone you're attracted to, there's no pressure to do anything. Since it's not a date, you don't have to talk to them all night or pursue them in any way, which is awesome. You can just have a casual conversation and show interest without appearing clingy or intense.
It's Cost Efficient
If you're on your Lil' Dicky shit and you like to save that money, get-togethers are much cheaper than a bar or a club. All you need to do is bring something to drink (don't be rude) and that's about it.
Your Rep Follows You …
… and your friends won't let you or anyone else forget it. If you're a player trying to mend his ways, your friends will shut down your attempts to claim another victim. If you're a spur of the moment romantic who falls in love every other month, your friends will let anyone who's interested in you know it and that may not always work out well for you. If you pooped your pants in an elevator at some point, your friends will tell the story. Basically, your friends will not always help you if you have a shady track record. Think about it though, the other person's their friend too, so they have to look out for them as well.
In the event that you do meet someone, you guys date, it goes horribly wrong and you guys can't hang out anymore because you hate each other's guts, friends will pick sides and it can cause friction in the group dynamic.
RS FINAL THOUGHT
Get-togethers are a great place to meet new people without having to deal with all the pressure of a date, a bar or a club. As long as you're not a creep or an asshole about it, they can work out very well and you can meet really cool people.
You don't even have to be looking for someone to date either. I met plenty of friends at get-togethers. But, like I said, be open, lower your expectations, don't be an asshole about it and things will work out fine.