10 Questions Women Love to Ask, 10 Lies Men Must Tell

To some women, men are an enigma. They know how we operate, but the reasons why are not so clear. Therefore, they try to figure us out by asking a bunch of questions that we simply cannot answer truthfully because they’ll be offended, disappointed or crazy angry. So, we lie as we attempt to tell them what they would like to hear. Here are some questions women love to ask and the lies they generate.

1. What are you thinking about?

What men immediately think: 

Oh, shit. I’ve been thinking about how bad ass GTA V is going to be while I’m supposed to be enjoying the video of her niece’s first recital.

or

Something so meaningless, it was forgotten as soon as the thought was interrupted.

Popular answer(s):

a) “Nothing.”

b)”You.”

c)”How precious children are.”

The truth: Nothing remotely related to what women expect to hear.

2. Do you have any secrets?

What men immediately think: 

Oh, dammit. What did she find out? Do I have anything to confess? No. All right, let’s play it cool.

or

“Shiiiiiiit!”

Popular answer(s):

a)”No, I don’t keep secrets from you.”

b)”Nothing you would be interested in.”

c) “Of course not. I’m an open book.”

Truth: Everybody has secrets. A lot of men have secrets that won’t affect the relationship, but will invite unwanted criticism.  No guy wants to feel bad about attending a comic book club because his girlfriend thinks of it as nerd central.

FYI: Comic books have always been cool and are now a billion dollar a year industry. What’s nerdy about that?

3. Do you think I’m pretty?

What men immediately think: 

What the hell? Who’s responsible for this sudden insecurity? God, why have you forsaken me?

or

“Shit on a stick!”

Popular answer(s):

a) “Of course i do.”

b) “I don’t date ugly chicks.”

c) “You’re the envy of all women.”

Truth: Of course he finds you attractive. He also finds other women attractive as well; just like you find other men attractive. All that matters is that he is with you and he finds you attractive enough that he harasses you for sex.

Ladies, please don’t dismiss the answer by saying, “You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend.” If that’s how you really feel, don’t waste our time by asking stupid questions.

4. Do you masturbate/watch porn?

What men immediately think: 

The fuck?! Did she find the stash? Be cool! Don’t show fear.

or

“Shit balls!”


Popular answer(s):

a)”Whaaaaattttt?”

b)”No. I don’t have the time.”

c)”Of course not. That’s disgusting.”

d)”Sometimes.”

e)”Why? You want to watch some?”

Truth: Yes. Everyone does.

 

229H

 

5. What are your fantasies?

What men immediately think: 

Oh, shit. Should i tell her? Nah. She’ll judge me.


Popular answer(s):

a) “Whaaaaattttt?”

b)”No. We’ve lived out all my fantasies”

c) “Fantasies are for chicks.”

Truth: Maybe. However, men fear being judged or being thought of as disgusting when it comes to their fantasies, so they play it safe and keep it to themselves.


6. Do you think she’s (random hot stranger or celebrity) pretty?

What men immediately think: 

No, I think she’s hot as shit. But i can’t say that because you’ll get mad at me. I’m playing this one safe.


Popular answer(s):

a) “Whaaaaattttt?”

b) “Hell, no.”

c) “I only have eyes for you, baby.”

d)”I don’t know who you’re referring to?”

Truth: Maybe. But why the hell would he tell you? You’ll just get mad and, if the girl seems to have something you don’t, you’ll feel insecure. However, if you’re asking about Beyonce, Kate Upton or Gisele bunchden, get ready to get your heart broken.

7. Would you change anything about me?

What men immediately think: 

Sweet mother of God! Do I have ‘Idiot’ written on my forehead? Where to begin? No. Wait. Can’t be honest.


Popular answer(s):

a) “No.”

b) “Before, during or after your period?”

c) “Of course not. I love you the way you are. Flaws and all”

Truth: Of course he would. And unlike a lot women, men don’t have passive-agressive ways of forcing change on a person.

He would change things about you in a heartbeat as long as it didn’t have any long term, nasty effects.

8. Have you ever lied to me? 

What men immediately think: 

Am I being punk’d? What the hell did she find out? Keep the poker face and play this cool.


Popular answer(s):

a) “Whaaaaattttt?”

b) “No. Of course not.”

c) “Sometimes. Little white lies.”

d) “Yes. Here’s why …”

Truth: Yes. More than you can possibly imagine. The worst part is that it’s about meaningless shit you don’t even really care about. He  would rather lie than tell you the truth and see your reaction.

9. Am I good in bed?

What men immediately think: 

Come on! I was just sitting here, minding my business, eating a bowl of fruits. Okay, My answer will define how much sex we’ll have in the next few weeks. However, I can’t make her think she’s the shit or else she might use sex as a bargaining chip. Why would she ask this?

“Shit!”

Popular answer(s):

a)”Yes.”

b) “9/10”

c) “Of course.”

d) “That thing you do with your leg turns me on.”

e)”Why?”

Truth: Maybe. Maybe not. It could be a work in progress. We don’t really care. We’re very happy with having sex altogether.

10. Do I make you happy/Are you happy with me?

What men immediately think: 

Should I tell the truth? Nah, too much drama. I’ll just lie.

Popular answer(s): “Yes.”

Truth: Not always. I highly doubt that a person can constantly be happy to be with someone else. There will be moments of happiness, but that’s not guaranteed. The lie has to be said regardless.

Keep fighting the good fight and happy lying!

Wilden. Out.

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